Thoughts On…

A collection of my thoughts and opinions on aspects of the erotic and filthy in our lives (or that should be in our lives!) in Comment And Opinion.


Thoughts On Trophies – 19/Jul/16

If what’s important is the two of you, why the need to shove it under people’s noses? But if it’s for show, you’ve got to ask what you’re in the relationship for. Read More…


Thoughts On The “Crazy Ex” – 15/Jul/16

It’s a pervasive cliche. We all have a crazy ex. Or at least, an ex we like to call crazy. Read More…


Thoughts On Sniping – 13/Jul/16

People use twitter for all sorts of things. One of those is sniping at others…revealing the unhappiness or bad character of the tweeter. Read More…


Thoughts On Name Calling – 8/Jul/16

Slut, whore, bitch… Many subs feel not demeaned by the words, but empowered to behave accordingly for their Dom. And there’s the key. Read More…


Here We Go Again… – 5/Jul/16

I get it, I do: She has to believe I’m the bad guy so she doesn’t have to admit the truth when she looks in the mirror. Read More…


In Praise Of Rocky Balboa – 21/Jun/16

Okay, neither filth nor erotica, but anyway: Read More…


Roundup – 18/Jun/16

I wrote them all in a flurry around the end of May/start of June, but waste not: want not! Now that tranche is all out there, I wanted to round up with something positive. Read More…


More Thoughts On Care – 18/Jun/16

If I feel I need my sub to show care in a way she isn’t at the moment, I simply say so. Read More…


Thoughts On Fake – 18/Jun/16

Pretending you’re something you’re not to get laid the way you want is not just fakery, it’s abuse. It’s predatory. And ultimately unfulfilling for everyone. Read More…


Thoughts On Difficult – 17/Jun/16

You always find time for the things you care about. If it’s important, it’s never too difficult. Read More…


Thoughts On Loyalty – 15/Jun/16

Loyalty means that the truth you tell won’t hurt your other. Loyalty means your behaviour doesn’t raise the concern in the first place. Read More…


Thoughts On Respect – 13/Jun/16

Disrespect is a red flag. Anyone disrespecting your relationship from the outside should be put out in the cold. Far from either you, or the person who has shown over time that they truly care. Read More…


Thoughts On Exclusivity – 10/Jun/16

It seems that it should be obvious which behaviours would break exclusivity. Read More…


Thoughts On Lessons From Experience – 9/Jun/16

No experience is truly bad unless there is no lesson you can learn from it. Learning that lesson will make things better in the future, next time. Read More…


More Thoughts On Anonymity – 8/Jun/16

Last month I was horrified when mine was attacked, undermined, and that attack was supported by other people on twitter. Read More…


Thoughts On The End – 7/Jun/16

It’s passed the end. It’s been a week since we’ve talked. Not so much talked as rowed. Our last words were good, though. Positive. I liked that. It’s fitting. We deserve that much. Read More…


Thoughts On Safewords – 16/May/16

Safe words. They’re like condoms. Excellent advice, and absolutely essential. No one would advise you not to use them on every conceivable occasion (pun absolutely intended). Read More…


Thoughts On Rights, Responsibilities And Privileges In D/s – 9/May/16

Being entirely judgemental, I believe that without these fundamental rights, responsibilities and privileges, then users and abusers they are. Read More…


Thoughts On 32 “Unsexy” Things – 4/May/16

At the end of April I saw a post by @EllenCScott of @MetroUK called 32 ‘sexy’ things that really aren’t that sexy I’m loathe to send traffic to such clickbait bilge, I thought it might be fun to have a crack at thoughts on each of the 32 things she mentions. Read More…


Thoughts On Happy – 26/Apr/16

Happy is important. But happy isn’t about a destination. Happy is about a journey. It’s about how you feel right now… Read More…


Thoughts On The Commitment To Care 21/Apr/16

It’s about commitment to your chosen path. A commitment that puts the hyperbolic “I’ve given it 1000%, Simon” of X-Factor contestants in the stupid box where it belongs… Read More…


Thoughts On The Imperative – 6/Apr/16

Millions of years of evolution have programmed men and women to be attracted to particular traits… Read More…


Thoughts On The Deadly Seven

1: Wrath – 2/Mar/16

An uncontrolled emotion, like Lust and Greed. Wrath is an overwhelming hatred and anger. Not Guilty. Read More…

2: Pride 7/Mar/16

You may not have noticed, but I have an abundance of Pride. I am proud. I am prideful. Pride in my sub and her achievements in her life, both before she met me and since she first offered her submission to me… Read More…

3: Envy  9/Mar/16

Envy is the opposite of pride, a malcontented comparison of your own status, abilities, or rewards. Read More…

4: Sloth – 14/Mar/16

Sloth always reminds me of the Billie Holliday song The Very Thought Of You “…and I forget to do/ the little ordinary things/ that everyone ought to do…Read More…

5: Greed – 21/Mar/16

It’s another sin of excess, those churchy types really like the whole self-denial thing, don’t they?
I’m greedy. I confess. Read More…

6: Gluttony – 23/Mar/16

A glutton for her? Yes. I know she overindulges in me, in what I do with her body… Read More…

7: Lust – 24/Mar/16

If your passion doesn’t, at least at times, make you feel that you’re being blown around in its hurricane-like winds, taken along uncontrollably in its grasp, then what are you doing with yourself? Read More…


Thoughts On The Choice – 4/Mar/16

Is my Dominance a choice? Yes and no… Read More…


Thoughts On Imitation – 18/Feb/16

…when people tell me that someone has done something or said something that I’ve said or done, that they’re downright copying me (my avi for instance) I wonder who they’re trying to impress… Read More…


Thoughts On Behaviour – 17/Feb/16

People repeat their old behavioural patterns. How often does that girl pick the man you all know is wrong for her? How often does that man get bored with the girl that 6 weeks ago he was telling you was the love of his life? Read More…


Thoughts On Subspace From Above – 12/Feb/16

Earlier this week I posted Thoughts On Subspace, a rather analytical view. Of course, I can’t write about the experience, the sensation of Subspace from firsthand. I’ve never experienced it, other than from my view of it from above… Read More…


Thoughts On Subspace – 9/Feb/16

For me, seeing The Girl in subspace is one of the most beautiful and fulfilling experiences I have… Read More…


Thoughts On “Good” – 4/Feb/16

What means someone’s being “Good”? As is true for many in D/s, telling The Girl she’s a Good Girl, is very important to me. But what is that? What constitutes “being good”? Read More…


Thoughts On Triggers – 2/Feb/16

We all have them. Triggers are an irrational over-reaction in the present to a trivial reminder of something in the past. A reminder that holds an echo of a dramatic or painful event, or a fear. Read More…


Thoughts On The Sacred Acts Of Submission – 19/Jan/16

…She knows I want them from her, knows they will be accepted with deep gratitude, love for them. But she does them because she needs to for her and because of the fulfilment she gets from them, and from pleasing me so deeply… Read More…


Thoughts On Routine And Ritual – 18/Jan/16

…At some point a routine crosses a threshold and through exact repetition becomes something else, something that is done with a precision. A Ritual… Read More…


Thoughts On Need And Neediness – 13/Jan/16

…There’s a phrase which periodically does the rounds on twitter: A sub needs to be wanted, a Dom wants to be needed. Need, good. Neediness bad. Right?… Read More…


Thoughts On Consistency – 11/Jan/16

One of the aspects of Dominance that I struggle with is consistency. Consistency is important. Vital, even. If a Dom says he’ll do something, he must do it… Read More…


Thoughts On Correction And Discipline – 21/Dec/15

Supporting his sub takes many forms for a Dom. One that is important is encouraging good behaviour… Read More…


Thoughts On Tasks – 18/Dec/15

The setting of tasks – continuing, daily and ad hoc – by a Dominant is a common (though by no means ubiquitous) feature of D/s relationships… Read More…


Other Thoughts:

© Charles Rochester 2014-2016

2 thoughts on “Thoughts On…

  1. Pingback: Coming Up In October… | Filth & Erotica

  2. Pingback: Things I’ve Learned Since I Started Blogging | Filth & Erotica

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