Thoughts On “Difficult”

Some time ago I read an article on Kosher food. I was fascinated by the author’s reason for keeping Kosher:

Because it’s difficult. You have to think about it so you don’t mistakes. It takes effort. It’s not what you’re doing that’s important, it’s the effort that means something.

I’m paraphrasing from memory, but I rather admired his honesty when it came to the original reasons for Kosher, that they’d become obsolete centuries ago. Keeping kosher was nothing but an act of devotion to his God, something that he did which may seem pointless but he imagined his God had a reason, even if he didn’t understand it, and it would please him. So doing it was fulfilling for him.

I’m not religious, but I suspect that underlying reasoning will sound familiar to many in D/s.

It’s a Daily Task.

As a sub, doing a task when it’s easy is, well, easy. Doing it when it’s difficult, that takes much more. Finding the time, making the effort when others wouldn’t, trusting there is a reason even when it hasn’t been explained, is an act of devotion by a submissive for her Dominant. A demonstration that she trusts him to guide her, trusts his judgement, and will always go that extra bit that no one else would to please him.

While it’s vital a Dom shouldn’t overburden his sub with demands – particularly when she’s busy – small, quick and simple tasks, like incidental photographs, help to maintain their connection and help her to show care and thought of him. That he’s important to her. That’s important to him.

Being an attentive Dominant isn’t easy, either. It’s a huge commitment of time, understanding and care. There are those I know who do it very well, nevertheless. They don’t achieve this because it’s easy or shirk away from it because their work or other aspects of their lives get in the way. They find a way, and they do because if it was easy, it wouldn’t be as fulfilling. If they stopped just because they were busy at work, it wouldn’t show a great deal of care, and it would show their sub how important she is to them: not very!

There’s always time in the day for a call and response, and in that phrase that goes around in memes on twitter:

You always find time for the things you care about.
If it’s important, it’s never too difficult

Mutual fulfilment is what D/s is at its core. If you can’t find a moment in time for quick simple tasks, what are you doing? Whatever is happening in your work or your life… There’s always a minute to show you care.

*incidentally, there is one good reason for ordering kosher food: it’s always better on an aeroplane than the regular stuff if you’re unfortunate enough to be in economy class.

© Charles Rochester 2016