One of my heroes is Muhammad Ali. Not for his boxing, or his self-sacrificial stand for his principles, not for his famous quote about “Impossible” (although that is good). It was for his answer when Michael Parkinson asked him what he’d have been if he hadn’t been a boxer.
“I don’t know what I’d have been, but I’d have been the best at it. If I was a garbage man, I’d have emptied more garbage cans than anyone else”
It’s about commitment to your chosen path. A commitment that puts the hyperbolic “I’ve given it 1000%, Simon” of X-Factor contestants in the stupid box where it belongs. You set yourself a goal and never stint on achieving it. Every decision you make supports that goal.
If I may blow my own trumpet for a moment (none of you are patients, so I hope you’ll forgive the arrogance), I’m great at my job. Not because of a natural talent but because of the effort. I didn’t just learn what I had to learn, I read around my subject, found out so much context just in case I might need it. The difference between compression injuries from bad landings with a circular parachute and a rectangular parachute, for instance.
Only when I leave the clinic for the last time will I know whether all that extra information is useful. (Okay, the parachutes is a bad example that, unbelievably, came up 14 years ago.) I’m always asking questions, always trying to find out new knowledge that I’ll probably never use. Because one day, I just might.
It’s the same with being a Dominant. I do my best to know everything I can to get the best understanding I can of my sub’s life, of her mind. Maybe the context of what she did last week or last month will be useful in supporting and caring for her, maybe not. I’ll only know later, but if I don’t find out that context, then how am I making an effort to understand her?
If a girl is giving her submission, she should expect no less than all the time and effort you can give. If she isn’t worth the time and effort, then let her find someone who recognises that she is. There may be times when she feels monitored, or under scrutiny. It’s your responsibility as a Dom to recognise why that might be, and act accordingly. There’s a fine line between paying attention and smothering, take care not to cross it!
© Charles Rochester 2016