The usual disclaimer: I’m giving my opinion, discussing my instinct. I’m not didactically telling anyone else how to do things, how they should do things, or saying it’s “The Right Way”. Just that it’s “My Way.”
There’s a visceral sensation I feel when The Girl does certain things. My knowledge of physiology tells me it’s a massive surge of adrenalin, endorphins and oxytocin. But the sensation is overwhelming, deep, primal. A welling up inside me of everything I feel for her along with an acute heightening of the need to care, to keep her safe, to tell her how important she is.
I feel it when she’s chosen to express her submission in that moment in one of the ways I can only describe as sacred.
She knows I want them from her, knows they will be accepted with deep gratitude, love for them. But she does them because she needs to for her and because of the fulfilment she gets from them, and from pleasing me so deeply. But not ever because I’ve asked her to. Because I’ve never demanded them.
As ‘Sacred Acts’ they exist solely between us. If she were to discuss doing these for someone else, I would consider that faithless. If she could contemplate doing them for someone else, then I’d feel our bond would be broken. Perhaps irreparably. After all, as her Dom, I couldn’t discuss another girl kneeling for me, or wearing my collar. Even in theory. If she could discuss kneeling to someone else, then she wouldn’t see our connection in the way she does. Lucky for me she wouldn’t.
If they make me feel so good, why don’t I instruct her to do them? Simple: If they were on demand, or done as a routine they would lose their power. They invoke that powerful feeling in me, that connection between us, precisely because they are her choice, her need. Just as her submission is.
The Girl and I use titles for each other, to the degree that they are our names as much as those in our passports. On the TL we use a set that we reserve for each other, but they are not the titles we use in private. Neither of us asked to be called by those titles. We both earned them. We both wanted to call the other by them. If I’d demanded that I be called “My Lord,” [No, it’s not that, but I’m not saying what it is] then calling me that would be an act of obedience, an expectation. The Girl calls me what she does because that’s how she feels. That’s why it means something.
Wearing Her Day Collar
When The Girl accepted her Day Collar, I made it clear she was never obliged to wear it. That she should wear it only when she chose, for whatever reason she had at the time. She knows it pleases me when she does, and that it was carefully chosen to be one she could wear even around vanilla friends and family without being conspicuous. Even then, it’s so she can feel the safety and security of our bond. Feel my care at any time.
Again, if she were obliged to wear it all the time then the wearing of it would be an act of obedience. By letting her choose, and ensuring she doesn’t wear it all the time, she is more aware of it around her neck when she does. The wearing retains its significance beyond the initial acceptance. Because it’s with that same acceptance that she puts it on each time. Having it on never becomes mundane or routine.
Kneeling In Submission
Of course, I tell her to kneel for some reasons, but the act of kneeling in submission as she does in a recent Sinful Sunday post is entirely her choice to make, her way of expressing to me a feeling, a need in her to submit to me. A clear, unequivocal restatement, reassurance and reinforcement of our connection and dynamic.
I’m very lucky and very pleased that she kneels for me as often as she does. She understands that whatever else is happening, even if it’s something I’ve instructed, everything stops to allow her to kneel, her desire to do so for me takes precedence. There’s no more powerful way to demonstrate her submission that doing it on her own compulsion, no more powerful way to confirm my acceptance of that submission. These are moments I find it increasingly close to impossible to end.
By ensuring these Sacred Acts are her prerogative, hers to give at her discretion, I know that when she does give them they mean everything they’re supposed to mean. By never demanding them, she has an opportunity to show me her submission is as deep, as powerful and as current as it ever has been. She can show me she feels it now, not just from an inertia. That the need to wear my collar and kneel to me is as strong as ever, and comes from her.
© Charles Rochester 2016